May 2013
fefeferi:
when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt
ronaldreagay:
started from the bottom and i’ve managed to get worse
njena:
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
iamaproudsuperwholockian:
yellowbrickrose:
you clever boy
and
cowboybeboop:
viste:
cowboybeboop:
reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it
IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST
only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan
thepacosanchezz:
my favorite show is sherlock starring bonkadonk clamberdouche and morgan freeman
vanillish:
underneathesestairs:
So if you’re not signed into tumblr and you go on someone’s blog, you’ll see this
And if you click the “Join Tumblr” button the background will be a post that that person reblogged, so I did it from my brother’s blog and
IM LAUGHIGN SO HARD ICAN’T BERAETGH
dimefox:
dimefox:
so i guess you could say
this statue has
a fly booty
i literally googled “winged butt” to make this pun please appreciate me
mollyiswideawake:
the-eleventh-blog:
iwanty0ubleeders:
can you imagine
if google just disappeared from the internet
and then we couldn’t google what happened to it
because google was gone
It took me a good two minutes to work out that that is a picture of a person in a translucent waterslide and not someone trapped in a human test tube in a horror film
Watchmartinseptim:
kawaii-princessxox:
wat
this still confuses me almost as much as it did the first time i saw it
tinsnip:
that moment when you realize you’ve read too much fanfiction and you legitimately cannot recall if that thing you want to reference is made-up or real
followed almost immediately by the moment that you realize that you just thought of a tv-show universe as real
systemofadowneyjr:
shoutout to photographers who make their subjects do stupid shit
sluttyoliveoil:
thigh gap? more like sigh nap am i right
davidisbeyonce:
Mom.. Baby.. Where do Dads come from?
selfdoubtandsyphilis:
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
internetfeet:
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
initiala:
A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.”
So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are...
In the moments before she dies, a woman whose hair...
definitelyafangirl:
patruelesfratresomnes:
donnanoble-the-sasstronaut:
mrloopysquirrel:
wHy
hello yes, 911 send me an aMBULANCE
I’m literally in tears right now. This would be so perfect and heartbreaking.
the-fandoms-are-cool:
darrynek:
hey kid wanna see a magic trick *reaches behind your ear* ready? *rips your ear off* where’d it go
I’m so mad you didn’t say “where’d it van gogh?”
tomato-jellyfish:
meladoodle:
this textpost glows in the dark, turn off your lights i bet you can still see it. ha just a little magic trick i learned
i feel so fucking stupid oh my god
camiekahle:
i-am-superjohnlocked:
i-drugged-your-coffee-jawn:
moranighosty:
susannaholmes:
freyahere:
a man walks into a bar
the bartender says “why the long face”
the man bursts into tears because he’s benedict cumberbatch
the bartender apologizes
the bartender is tom hiddleston
They then get a drink and talk about their cheekbones
matt smith joins the conversation
Soon...
Societal expectations of sex don't make any sense
fuckingblacksabbath:
awastrelmescalined:
salmiakkivodka:
If dudes are expected to have a lot of sex
But ladies are expected to stay virgins until marriage
But homosexuality is bad
I’m really confused who dudes are supposed to be having all that sex with
#im not saying its aliens #but
jaclcfrost:
avatargrimes:
jaclcfrost:
chiptunehero:
jaclcfrost:
no one ever talks about peter pan’s brother
peter pot
peter pot the only boy who was higher than peter pan
and this is probably why no one talks about him
peter pot is so high, he neverlands.
and it’s definitely not because of any faith or trust or pixie dust
antimath:
castiel-is-wonderful:
sionainnlindsay:
castiel-is-wonderful:
WAIT HOLD THE FUCK UP
IS ‘MRS’ JUST MR’S
LIKE BELONGING TO MR
OMG
Mr comes from the French monsieur, which I think literally translates as ‘my lord’ and basically just means master, and Mrs comes from maistre which is the feminine form of master, so actually—for once—no.
This was an extremely relevant comment...
drunktrophywife:
do you ever just see a URL and know they have autoplay
pizzaforpresident:
superblys:
pizzaforpresident:
A girl with pink hair just helped me at Walmart and I was like “I know about your tumblr” and all the colour just drained from of her face it was so funny omfg
THAT WAS ME YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
no it wasn’t i made this up for notes
doctorxrose:
walk into the club like
nagei:
zacharieforpresident:
zacharieforpresident:
hey guys remember these things
i just lost a follower
it’s like 2008 just flashed before my eyes
gabilliamqueen:
gabilliamqueen:
IM SO PUMPED I FEEL LIKE I COULD DO A FUCKIN BACKFLIP
I CANNOT DO A BACKFLIP
1/4 of tumblr: OH MY GOD GUYS THEY ARE GOING TO BUY TUMBLR
1/4 of tumblr: OH MY GOD THEY BOUGHT TUMBLR AND ARE GOING TO CHANGE EVERYTHING
1/4 of tumblr: WHO THE FUCK CARES, THEY AREN'T CHANGING ANYTHING ANYWAYS
1/4 of tumblr: yo wtf how is this fucking site 1.1billion dollars we literally post porn and doctor who all day
nevvzealand:
thinking about my homework is probably as far as im gonna get with it
ghosteh13:
voice-of-tartarus:
demeaniac:
what if with our first clot of air when we are born we inhale a soul, and every time we breathe out, we squeeze a tiny part of our souls out. would our final breath actually be the very last soul fragment leaving our bodies?
Woah woah wait
you know those things that say “you become like the 5 people you hang out with the most”
that would explain...
